I want to sleep with common people like you.

So, same carriage this morning. 

Pretty Blonde Pregnant lady I have seen since before she was pregnant was there.  She is very pretty like a doll.  Very white hair, and her make up always immaculate and pink.  She is like china, and getting bigger by the minute.

Sitting next to me this morning, were 2 neds.  I call them neds, because they had shell suits on and flattened down, gelled hair. 

Their conversation was astounding.  One of the lads, possibly the better looking of the two, kepts getting texts.  They were guessing who it might be, before they looked, and then laughing hysterically when they were both wrong.  When they identified the texter, they then reminisced about where and when they "pumped" her.  Both of them appear to have "pumped" the same girls quite often.  One of them even "pumped" one of the girls on a bench, in a park, whilst another friend watched, albeit from a distance while the lesser good looking of the two squealed at him, (i have to say squealed because that is how he spoke on the train), "this is how it's done mate".  He actually provided actions too. 

I didn't count their sweary words, because to be honest. The doors hadn't shut from my stop and it had already moved into double figures. 

They are both apprentice mechanics. Apparently they have also been Apprentice bricklayers, and before that, apprentice painter and decorators too. They were 17.  How is this possible?  Do they only do 6 months of each Apprenticeship?

At the third stop down the line, I froze. A young school girl got on. White socks, black shoes, uniform the lot.  I begged in my mind for her to turn the opposite direction - head for first class to the left, instead of baggage class like me.  I figured the two of them would get stuck in about slagging her the minute they clocked her.

She turned towards me. I saw the better looking ned look up, and smirk and nod to his mate.  And my heart sunk. Did this little girl deserve to hear what I had been hearing.  (Come to think of it, did I?)  She sat down beside me, and unbelievably, their conversation toned down. I actually think they were trying to impress her, with their knowledgeable chat about mechanics and working for a qualification.

I was so grateful, I said thank you to her when I got off the train.  I said "i was so worried you would sit down and they would abuse your ears, but they actually acted with a bit of respect".

Thank you !